OR: Skeletons Suck
I’m not going to lie. We were feeling pretty hot after one-shotting the Burning Mountain. We were playing on Hard difficulty now and still cracking demon skulls. How hard could clearing a crypt be?
You remember these guys? This is the first room of Crypt of the Damned, and I didn’t take my own advice. Instead of hookgunning one of them into the trap, GREM used Net Shooter to freeze them in place and do 3 damage. Unfortunately, skeletons have shields — so that 3 damage became 2 and with a bad combat card pull… We ended up burning a lot of cards on some pretty low level enemies.
The generic skeleton just wouldn’t go down. Shield! Heal! Dance! Eventually we gave up and Flow rushed into the next room (Ride the Wind) and Flame Orbed the archers and cultists inside. (This seemed to make sense to us at the time — surround the enemy?)
AND THEN THE CULTISTS MADE MORE SKELETONS…
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. This was quickly becoming one of our worst runs yet. We couldn’t put any of these undead back in their graves. Our dramatic combat gestures were whittled down with nulls, curses, and -2s to piddly taps on the shoulder.
Those skeletons kept following us. And the cultist kept popping up more of them (even after reshuffles). GREM took a few punches to the face from the Earth Demon. (He was ok with that.) And Flow tried to stop the self-replicating un/dead.
By this point, we knew GREM and Flow were going to die before they made it to the final room. GREM threw himself past the Earth Demon (taking the trap damage) to grab one of the treasure chests. At least this run wouldn’t be a total waste.
It was GREM’s first major treasure! What wondrous thing could be contained inside???
Screw these skeletons. Damn this crypt.
The walls closed in. We did not make it out alive.
(Good thing we’re not playing permadeath mode!)