The Ruinous Crypt (Sc. 5)

OR: GREM Runs Out of Time

Apparently crypts lead to more crypts. After clearing out the CRYPT OF THE DAMNED (imagine that in a spooky voice, please), it was suggested that Flow and GREM could either become buddies with the crazy cultists or foil their evil plans.

With a heavy sigh and maybe an eye roll, we decided to foil evil plans. (Always with the foiling!)

We popped into the RUINOUS crypt (less damned, but maybe more untidy?) and found cultists doing cultist-y things — do these people even have day jobs?

Cultist: “After we complete this ancient rite, I really need to get this robe hemmed.”

Flow had a bit of a surprise for them though. In addition to her Mystic Ally card and her Hammer of the Mountain warrior spirit, she had also purchased a Skull Ring in town so that she could summon skeletons too!

Yep, that’s right, Flow essentially prestiged into Necromancer.

Flow: “Minions, attack!”

I don’t need to tell you. The “amateur” cultist necromancers never stood a chance.

One thing that I’ve left out so far is that this map was big. Like, really big. And of course the two treasure chests are on completely opposite sides.

GREM: “Do y’all have a moving walkway or something?”

After taking out the cultists (and hookgunning one into a trap…), GREM and Flow popped into the far room to chase down the chest over there. A few Frost Demons went down easily enough, and GREM made a mad dash to get his SECOND treasure chest! This one actually had gold in it instead of poison!

Flow, probably: “Good job, GREM. I’m proud of you.”

Flow rode the wind to get to the other side of the map while GREM took his own good time with smaller Move 4 cards. It shouldn’t have mattered much though, we assumed the other room had high defense Flame Demons in it that would take some time and skill to knock off.

Sure enough, there they were. This would occupy Flow while GREM could catch up. He would then need to (1) snag the other treasure and (2) throw himself into a demon or pit and die to show his commitment to the Blood God!

Flame Demon: “We have 4 armor! You can’t touch us! Hiss!”

But, as has been revealed in prior entries, Flow is a maelstrom of destruction.

She pulled not one, not two, but three crits in a row. (Her standard 2x card plus her two from the Sanctuary of the Great Oak blessing.)

The flame demons and skeleton plinked to the ground as little silver coins:

Flow: “I’m sorry. Did you say something, penny?”

All while GREM watched in horror. Running as fast as his little legs could take him, he watched his visions of looting and flinging himself into spiky traps evaporate.

Poor GREM. (Good job, Flow.)

Now there was a decision to be made. Get expert help to seal the evil portal that the cultists had opened? Orrrrrr jump right in.

Try and guess what we did.